just to keep a record
i'm typing 流水帳 again

had a pleasant time at PMH surgery in july & aug
the docs are really kind & helpful
have learnt a lot from them :) :) :)

moved into SH Ho in early sept
i think i've been managing well
with help from my lovely bro & sis of course hehe
grace::: you're the best bro in the world
chichi::: :)
grace::: since i have only one brother, you're both the best and the worst
chichi::: ==
wing & tray are good companions no doubt! (i hope we won't get tired of each other lol)

it was the most fabulous sept i have ever had
have had a good time with my lovely groupmates
k singing cum carolyn's birthday celebration, cookie baking & mahjong at steffi's place, hotpot at saiwan, CWB's 板前
last but not least, chimelong!!!
circus, water fun, rides, long night chat, hearts and FIERCE!

IHD group 3 reu at 火車頭 & 小甜谷
farewell for my dearest candy at fie's place. mahjong again. garret leung is 詐糊王. 糖黐豆 ho ho mei. always treasure the time we spend tgt <3
had a little chat with kammy at kln bay's italian tomato before she left for warwick
quick lunch with jenny and edith, visited edith's studio (which is filled with 李準基's stuff ==)
met up with chanhoyan and kitching at new century plaza's 麻布茶房. it's been a long time since we last met. ho hoi sum :)
張懸 [城市.香港] 音樂會 with mui at whompoa yo park. thanks jenny for the free tickets. dumplings at 八方雲集. yum yum.
sister support group gatherings at QMH's K2 & starbucks. let's keep each other in prayer. :)
fellowship 大食會 at prudence's place. laughed my head off. heartfelt apology to george whom i always tease. *sorry*

movie-wise
watched my sister's keeper with baba. it was really really touching.
time traveller's wife with wongloc. it was good, better than i expected. rachel mcadams is gorgeous.

argh
the earth spins too fast

be kind to others
so as to be kind to yourself

難道這樣顯淺的道理
還不明白

*                     *                         *                     *

今天哥哥妹妹為誰先補習吵起來
說不到兩句妹妹的淚珠嘩嘩落下
然後哥哥說：「你不要以為你哭我便會讓你。」
妹妹說哥哥昨晚答應讓她先補習
小朋友的爭拗好像好無聊
你可能覺得妹妹太不爭氣竟如斯眼淺
我當時站著看覺得妹妹好委屈
承諾怎麼一下子被推翻
哭了還要被認為裝可憐
撇開這一切難道哥哥不可讓妹妹一下嗎

*                     *                         *                     *

有些感情
要在最美好的時候
劃上句號

*                     *                         *                     *

車廂裡
我又再數算
那些曾讓我流淚的人
然後想
為什麼我們不是朋友

怎樣堂皇的理由
都不能蓋掩那一絲惋惜

*                     *                         *                     *

這廿年的情感
實在難以解釋
缺口一直都在
這塊心田一早被抽乾
我不介意繼續荒廢

你這些年的灌溉
我竟有點不想承認
花會不會開
我不願意猜想

花在你襟上
或許你覺得很好看
我只是覺得
花離開了泥土也再沒意思了

你甘心這只是花嗎

why do i spend so much time
on deciphering & encoding
this is so unrealistic
argh, i wanna quit

a blend of restlessness, frustration and bewilderment
i feel unsettled

too many questions to answer
and too many unsatisfactory answers

too many disappointing deeds
that i'm running out of love to deal with

may i see hope in bleak despair
embrace love in profound hatred
forgive when anger burns
understand when disagreement sprouts

"What shall I do, Lord?" Acts 22:10
i'll wait patiently

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

thanks very much for the 2 hr chat
somehow relieved

然後

她踏著高貴的皮靴
以花貓的腳步
走在銀亮的魚骨天線上
然後——
深婉的舒一口氣
在睫毛的慫恿下
驀然閉上海藍的眼簾
在矮樓之巔俯衝而下

在寶藍與淡紫之間
她緩緩展開黏滿幼羽的雙臂
乘著柔風跟飛過的灰鴿擁吻
然後——
微微擢動困倦的手
向騷曲的藤絲輕輕告別
在嫩蕊的細縫間
以閃潤的嘴唇
為油燈綴上最後的麗采

她銜著斑紅的枯葉
以淡粉的指頭輕撥著金色的琴弦
呼喚每顆酣睡的葡萄
然後——
在月光熄滅之前
在神祕的山林寂然降落
躺下，凝望無盡的天際
默然等待下一個然後

this was written 5 years ago, in my f.4 summer. some of you may have noticed i post my old work once in a while. i can't recall why i wrote this. probably without any reason. but i'm quoting it because i like the colours it paints. the serenity. the pride. the helplessness. it may sound paradoxical. yet, it's how complicated reality is. while you're trying to get hold of something, it slips away. the flame shimmers so that you may roughly outline the silhouette, yet you never get to see the truth. and you wait and wait and wait. the moon wanes. the flame perishes.

r.i.p. mrs hong.